I don’t know about you all, but I always have a problem when the people close to me ask me what I want for Christmas. It’s not that I am going to pretend that I’m some kind of a minimalist who doesn’t want anything, because the exact opposite is true, I love being surrounded by crap I don’t need. It’s just that I am tough to make happy because I have such a unique taste when it comes to what I like. And it’s not even as easy as giving me a gift card, because it’s rare that I will find what I’m looking for when confined to a particular store.
If I had my way, I would sit my girlfriend and mom down every year for a thorough lesson in how to find the things I really want…Ebay. And I’m not talking about the same things you can find in a store, I am talking about vintage sports memorabilia. Ebay is the one place where you can go 24/7, search for “UFC” in the “Vintage Sports Memorabilia” category, and marvel at the possibilities.
This morning I did just that. While other Americans all over the country are trampling each other for deeply discounted, off-brand televisions that will probably stop working by the time we hit the Fourth of July, I was looking for one-of-a-kind gifts that would make any fight freak happy. Here are a couple of the good things I found this week. Hopefully one of the few people that actually gets me gifts for Christmas is reading this post (they aren’t) and hooks me up.
I love items like this gem because a lot (as opposed to a single item) gives you a ready-made collection of whatever crap you are winning. This is a lot of 8 K-1 kickboxing action figures. They purport to be Kubrick figures and the collection claims to consist of kickboxing legends Ernesto Hoost, Peter Aerts, Andy Hug, Cyril Abidi, Ray Sefo, and the ever-imposing “Others.”
This auction really intrigues me because it states that the figures come loose without any packaging. Between that, and the very strange detail on the figures, it is difficult to confirm that anything the auction says is actually accurate. However, the seller has opened the bidding at $79.99 so, as far as I’m concerned, that guarantees the quality and authenticity. Because it’s not like you can just mark up crap you’re trying to sell online.
Next we have an unassembled, “ultra-rare” (which is 100 times rarer than rare) mock-cereal box with Frank Shamrock on the cover. It’s funny because it says “Beaties” instead of Wheaties. Its collectible (notwithstanding its ultra-rarity) because it brings us back to a time when Shamrock was the biggest star in the UFC, and its most dominant fighter. If nothing else, that should make clear how old it is, and confirm that it is pre-Dana White.
You might be wondering what you are going to do with a flat piece of cardboard with Frank Shamrock’s picture on it. That sums up the best part about reckless Ebay auctioning, the answer to that question doesn’t matter. You buy first, think about what to do with it later.
Or don’t, and leave the bidding low, so that all of the awesomely bad MMA collectibles are won by me this holiday season.