MMA Meets Star Wars

Today is National Star Wars day. Being the Star Wars dork that I am, I figured I’d whisk you away to a galaxy far far away — MMA style. If MMA superstars were Star Wars characters, who would they be…

Yoda – Royce Gracie

If this isn’t the most obvious comparison in the world, I don’t know what is.

Obi-Wan Kenobi – Randy Couture

The beard. The age. The wisdom. The willingness to sacrifice themselves to younger badasses for the greater good.

Mace Windu – Anderson Silva

These two piss cool and can only be defeated via outside interference.

Rancor – Brock Lesnar

These giant monsters might make you sh** in your pants. But after you stain your draws, if you can manage a big shot or two they’ll crumble.

Princess Leia – Arianny Celeste

Just picture Arianny in that Slave Leia outfit… Are you still with me? Squeegee your screen so we can move on.

Darth Vader – Dana White

These dudes run their empires with iron fists. Can’t you just see Dana Force-choking Tito Ortiz?

Jar Jar Binks – Tito Ortiz

Many of us wish these two jesters never existed.

Luke Skywalker – GSP

Both are a little too “goodie two shoes.” Always training. Always saying and doing the right things. Still, there’s no denying that the Force is strong in them.

Boba Fett – B.J. Penn

Anywhere. Anytime. They don’t need camps, Empires or Republics. These lone wolves are their own men. And dangerous ones.

Han Solo – Chuck Liddell

Is he a bad good guy, or a good bad guy? Who knows, but their galaxies wouldn’t be half as fun without them.

Admiral Ackbar – Greg Jackson

Masters of strategy. I’d love to hear Greg say “it’s a trap!” in between rounds.

Lando Calrissian – Rampage

Both of these intergalactic brothers have the gift of gab and eventually get their mind right. They also both know how to accessorize (capes, chains, etc.).

Chewbacca – Jon Jones

Big, sensative and loveable. Everybody likes them. Well, until they rip your arms off.

C-3PO – Chael Sonnen

Goldenrod and Goldenroid. Do either of these fellas ever STFU?

R2-D2 - Jose Aldo

These pesky pint-sized machines are as cool as they are capable. Don’t let their size fool you.

Wickett – Urijah Faber

Chicks love these cuddly kiddos and they are also more formidable than they appear.

Darth Maul – Wanderlei Silva

As crazy in action as they are looking. Mad killer instinct. When they smell blood it is curtains for you.

Emperor Palpatine – Fedor Emelianenko

Most of us always thought it would take two men to topple these Emperors. In reality, they just started slipping a bit.

Jabba the Hutt – Tank Abbott

Both of these slobs are formidable foes — don’t let their guts fool you. That said, both can be choked out by elite competition.

Qui-Gon Jinn – Maurice Smith

An elite striker who was before his time. He might not have been the best, but he paved the way for others.

Greedo – Cheick Kongo

Both are supposed to be these huge badasses, but that’s not the case when the action actually goes down.

Wedge Antilles – Kenny Florian

Smart, savvy and a well-respected members of the Alliance. Still, neither gets the respect they truly deserve.

Count Dooku – Mark Coleman

Some old-timers just don’t know when to hang it up.

Aayla Secura – Gina Carano

Kicking ass and looking sexy while doing so.

General Grievous – Frank Mir

Yeah, they’re pretty imposing figures. Just not half as imposing as they think they are. Plus, when they speak you pray for them to stop.

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