Today is National Star Wars day. Being the Star Wars dork that I am, I figured I’d whisk you away to a galaxy far far away — MMA style. If MMA superstars were Star Wars characters, who would they be…
Yoda – Royce Gracie
If this isn’t the most obvious comparison in the world, I don’t know what is.
Obi-Wan Kenobi – Randy Couture
The beard. The age. The wisdom. The willingness to sacrifice themselves to younger badasses for the greater good.
Mace Windu – Anderson Silva
These two piss cool and can only be defeated via outside interference.
Rancor – Brock Lesnar
These giant monsters might make you sh** in your pants. But after you stain your draws, if you can manage a big shot or two they’ll crumble.
Princess Leia – Arianny Celeste
Just picture Arianny in that Slave Leia outfit… Are you still with me? Squeegee your screen so we can move on.
Darth Vader – Dana White
These dudes run their empires with iron fists. Can’t you just see Dana Force-choking Tito Ortiz?
Jar Jar Binks – Tito Ortiz
Many of us wish these two jesters never existed.
Luke Skywalker – GSP
Both are a little too “goodie two shoes.” Always training. Always saying and doing the right things. Still, there’s no denying that the Force is strong in them.
Boba Fett – B.J. Penn
Anywhere. Anytime. They don’t need camps, Empires or Republics. These lone wolves are their own men. And dangerous ones.
Han Solo – Chuck Liddell
Is he a bad good guy, or a good bad guy? Who knows, but their galaxies wouldn’t be half as fun without them.
Admiral Ackbar – Greg Jackson
Masters of strategy. I’d love to hear Greg say “it’s a trap!” in between rounds.
Lando Calrissian – Rampage
Both of these intergalactic brothers have the gift of gab and eventually get their mind right. They also both know how to accessorize (capes, chains, etc.).
Chewbacca – Jon Jones
Big, sensative and loveable. Everybody likes them. Well, until they rip your arms off.
C-3PO – Chael Sonnen
Goldenrod and Goldenroid. Do either of these fellas ever STFU?
R2-D2 - Jose Aldo
These pesky pint-sized machines are as cool as they are capable. Don’t let their size fool you.
Wickett – Urijah Faber
Chicks love these cuddly kiddos and they are also more formidable than they appear.
Darth Maul – Wanderlei Silva
As crazy in action as they are looking. Mad killer instinct. When they smell blood it is curtains for you.
Emperor Palpatine – Fedor Emelianenko
Most of us always thought it would take two men to topple these Emperors. In reality, they just started slipping a bit.
Jabba the Hutt – Tank Abbott
Both of these slobs are formidable foes — don’t let their guts fool you. That said, both can be choked out by elite competition.
Qui-Gon Jinn – Maurice Smith
An elite striker who was before his time. He might not have been the best, but he paved the way for others.
Greedo – Cheick Kongo
Both are supposed to be these huge badasses, but that’s not the case when the action actually goes down.
Wedge Antilles – Kenny Florian
Smart, savvy and a well-respected members of the Alliance. Still, neither gets the respect they truly deserve.
Count Dooku – Mark Coleman
Some old-timers just don’t know when to hang it up.
Aayla Secura – Gina Carano
Kicking ass and looking sexy while doing so.
General Grievous – Frank Mir
Yeah, they’re pretty imposing figures. Just not half as imposing as they think they are. Plus, when they speak you pray for them to stop.
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